hummphh..whatever

the shit you hear about me might be true..

then again..

it could be as fake as the BITCH who told you :o]

i want.

supposed to shop. but, grr. i didnt see anything nice. grr.

i'm supposed to get this one damn fcking pretty PANTS.

nad already bought first and unfortunately for her , i fell in love with it at the first sight.

darn!

i want it toooooooooooooooooooo. so badly that i can frown the whole dayy. :

so yeahh. that was IT. so disappointed. i wish i'm filthy rich that i can grab anything that catches my eyes.

sobb. too bad i'm not for those who are, stop being spoiled brats.

(perhaps i'll b spoiled too, if i'm super duper super duper rich right? lol. )

questions.

i am a very very miserable person. i love keeping all sorts of shits to myself. most ppl know that i get jealous faster than the lightning. (i think. or is it jst me?) lol. wtv it is, yes, its true, i do. maybe its jst because i'm too immune to him, it means like, i'm so used to hv him for my own. get what i mean? so like, bla bla bla. ;

i hate ppl who messes with my mind. i hate it. cz it gets me thinking. all day long. about absolutely rubbish! its like, whatt a waste of time. and who to b blamed? you.
well, i love assuming things. i always think that i knoww. i always think that my theories are right. bt somehow, i do listen to other ppl too. i'm nt this sucked up brat or whatever. make sense? lol. farnny.


i'd love to have new friendly friends. but, i dnt wanna go after something that doesnt want me.
so yeahh, i love to jst sit and wait. :) bt sometimes, it depends. lol. i lalalalalove my friends. friends are the bombs. LOL.

hmmm.

i'd like to know how much do i actually matter to you.

can you tell?


"you expect too much" = wrong answer, sorry!

Argh.

sometimes i wonder what does a person has to do to deserve a slap in the face from me?


because i think i'm a really really really patient person. you throw to me anything or whatever in my face i'll just deal with it, patiently, i guess? i have gone through a lot. i admit, i bottled things up alot inside sometimes. but sometimes, i don't think it'll make any difference by spilling it out.... it's just gonna cause even more pain or make things go from good to bad or even to worse. and i don't want that.

you do whatever you like. you say whatever you wanna say. you get whatever you ask for. you go wherever you like. you love whoever you want. you leave whoever you like. you talk to whoever you like. you care about whoever you like.



hmm.. i'm clueless..

:'(

i'm leaving. i am. leaving. ahh whatever lah! bye.

****

current mood: (i'm just guessing..) see below.. lol.. yea wtf.. :(

Sadness

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sadness is an emotion characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, and helplessness. When sad, people often become quiet, less energetic, and withdrawn. Sadness is considered to be the opposite of happiness, and is similar to the emotions of sorrow, grief, misery, and melancholy. The philosopher Baruch Spinoza defined sadness as the “transfer of a person from a large perfection to a smaller one.”

Sadness can be viewed as a temporary lowering of m

ood (feeling blue), whereas clinical depression is characterized by a persistent and intense lowered mood, as well as disruption to one's ability to function in day to day matters.

**********************************************

"You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel."


sorry. i just had to google for sad images for this post. it represents my mood. because i never really camwhored a sad face. (i'll look fucking ugly, so yea, sorry la) well, the first one is damn fugly also and the second one made me wanna smile.......

gahhh!

oh well, i end up cheering up myself with my own silliness, stupidity and moron-ness :) yeay chibs ;)

i fucking hate liars. don't you?

how i wish..

i wish i know who to believe.
i wish i know what to believe.
i wish i know who to trust.
i wish i know what to trust.
i wish i know who to listen to.
i wish i know what's true and what's not.
i wish i know what's good and what's bad.
i wish i know who's good and who's bad.
i wish i know what's a lie and what's not.
i wish i know who's an ass and who's a bitch.
i wish i know how to express my anger.
i wish i know myself better.
i wish i know it all!

but the truth is, i don't :'(

and i'm clueless

What now.

When I blog. I normally would either be happy, bored or pissed off.

Right now, I'm pissed off.

I'm not gonna write a hate post or babble about the person that I'm pissed off with because it'll bring me nowhere. It sucks being away. Away from home, family, boyfriend & friends. oh wait, and LIFE. It sucks. I don't wanna lose any of those.

But it's hard. Its hard to stay patient and keep saying yes to everything. Its hard to take all the crap that's been thrown at you all the time. Its hard to keep updated with the people there.

My teacher once told me in class ;

Love is unconditional.

therefore, there shouldn't be any condition when you love someone.
When you love someone, the person that you love can't be forced to love you back.
You'd be super lucky if you're loved back. That is, when a girl and a guy falls in love (in my case, that is).

When you first fall in love its all sunshine & rainbows.
and sometimes it turns dark & cloudy. (the part i hate most)

In a relationship, you gotta have trust, you gotta have faith.
Faith is when you believe, without proof. You don't need proof, to have faith in something/someone.

But how do you trust & have faith when they break promises? when they betray you? when they do things behind your back? You trusted them so dearly, and shit happens.

How do you actually regain back those trust?
It isn't easy. It takes two to work out a relationship. It takes time. It takes a lot of effort. It's a must to understand one another. The two of them must compromise. Must give and take.

I seriously second this quote,

"You don't know what you've got, til it's gone."


so, what now?

Things that irritate me most:

a) WRONG PRONUNCIATION

I mean it's okay if your English isn't that good. But if you're a lecturer? That's just bad. Especially when you're giving lectures in front and keep repeating the same word with the WRONG PRONUNCIATION! (Okay, one thing. Is it actually proNUNciation or proNOUNciation?) (Checked, it is proNUNciation, unless if it's pronounce, then it's with the -noun) Hahah.


And once there was a friend of mine (Kelantanese), she said leopard as Lee Yo Pard. -_____-" Oh God. Corrected her right away. And then there were, toothbrush said as teeth-broosh! (Okay this one, I asked her (a different Kelantanese), what is 'berus gigi' in English? She right away answered, "Teeth Broosh" (I secretly LOL-ed in the inside). Broosh = brooch. I was like, RIGHT.. I just can't take it. Lol. You know how to pronounce it right? /ˈskɛlɪtn/ Show Spelled ProWhich is so wrong and annoying! lol. It ticks me off, really.


Wait, I shall list them down.

*Skeleton - skle-ton / sklair-ton
*Leopard - Lee-yo-pard
*Toothbrush - Teeth-broosh
*Scheme - Sheeeeem
*Clerk - Slurk
*Transaction - Transition

Well, I'm not insulting or making fun of people here, it's just a reminder to not make silly mistakes like that, or else you'll definitely look silly! (I still find some kinda funny, but some are just annoying!) Hahah there's a lot more, but I can't really remember.

b) DoOfuS wHo tYpEs LikE ThEsE

Wow, isn't it tiring like that? Gotta stick your pinky on the Shift button every now and then? Seriously man. Probably yOu FinD iT cOoL bAcK thEn To tYpE thiS wAy. Yes, back then! It's no longer back then, now is it? But seriously, I just find it FREAKING irritating. It irritate my eyes. Be more civilized please.

c) Smsz / typez this wayz. Whyz gotz zz allz thez timez onez?

Okay, sometimes I use 'cuz' as short for because. Because is just too long. lol. and cuz sounds better then cos or cause. But hey, I'm not only talking about it in English. Also in Malay, it is even more annoying!

*Last - laz
*Guess - guez
*ofcourse - of corz
*class - claz
*miss - mizz

d) Bahasa Melayu (Pelik) Sekarang

*Perut - pewot (Seriously, wtf? what's wrong with you?)
*Comel - chumel / chomeyl
*Ke - kew (A simple ke, like, "ader kew?" Why do have to add 'w' in the end? Don't even get me started with the 'er)
*Gemuk - gemoxxx or temoxx (wtf?)
*Tau (as in tahu) - taw
*Korang (as in kau orang) - korunk
*Sayang - sayunk. even worse, CAYUNK. (eww gross)
*Kita - kte

Seriously, sometimes when my malay friends text me, I had to ask my other malay friend to translate. Because their short forms and their malays (like the one explained above) are way out of my league! I don't understand why, simple 'AKU' also have to become 'ak'? Isn't 3 letters short enough? Wtf is AK?! -____-"

Of course I speak Malay here, in Terengganu, and also with my family. But I use proper Malay with proper spellings, not all the time complete spelling but understandable.

p/s: For anyone who terasa / is offended by what I said, Sorry lahh okay :) Hehehehehe.
***

A lot more actually. But I'm too lazy to think. Shall continue soon! Got thoughts? Do comment :)

I'm still bored. I feel like I'm the only one left here. Walked to the toilet, and all rooms seem empty. Nobody walking around, but only this black cat named Juju. Named her that because apparently her eyes is juling! crazy eyes